It's a Cold and It's a Broken Hallelujah
by bipolar broadway baker
Summary: After the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, hunters started capturing angels to study them as a supernatural subspecies. When the Winchesters find out on accident through a last-minute hunt, what will they find? Sabriel/Destiel Contains: rape, torture, slashy man love, and my bad writing
1. Chapter 1

** Hi folks! Long time, no update! I've had zero time on my hands lately. So, here's some Supernatural slash and Hurt/Comfort. There'll be a good bit of angst too, so beware if you can't do rape, torture and manly slashy love :) This fic is AU from Swan Song, when Sam took the dive, to be exact. Dean never went to Lisa's, Sam came back with a soul and found his brother, and Cas isn't working with Crowley or battling it out in Heaven.**

** I OWN NOTHING, NOT EVEN THE TITLE **

**If this doesn't get any reviews, it won't be continued, so if you want more, let me know! **

"Rise and shine, Sammy! Cas' got a job for us to do!"

Sam cracked open a disinterested eyelid to glare at his brother, sipping a coffee at the counter of the crappy motel kitchenette with a trenchcoated angel under his arm. Dean just smirked around his cup before taking another sip.

"You did not have to raise your voice to wake him, Dean."

"That's the point, Cas." Dean grinned at him, making the angel roll his eyes and peck his lips. Sam just snapped his eyes closed again.

It definitely wasn't because he wasn't happy for Dean and Cas – it was about time they got their heads out of their asses and realized they loved each other – but it did hurt. He never got the chance for that. Gabriel was dead. His archangel was dead, and he never told him he loved him. It had been 2 months since they stopped the apocalypse and 6 months since Gabriel's death, but damn did it still hurt.

"Sam, get your ass up, we've got a job."

With a heavy exhale, Sam opened his eyes and sat up, swinging his long legs to the ground. He ran a mammoth hand down his face and glared at his brother.

"What is it?"

"I sensed an angelic aura not far from here, in a long abandoned farmhouse. It was distressed. Very distressed and in need of assistance." Castiel came and sat down across from Sam, his massive blue eyes staring intently into his in that way he did.

"Where is this farmhouse?" Sam wasn't quite sold. The apocalypse had just ended, of course there would be some leftover wandering angels.

"245 Crescent Lake Road." That was pretty close. And it was on their way out of town. He inwardly shrugged, what could it hurt? He looked back to Dean.

"If you're on board, I'm on board." Dean gave a quick, affirming nod and jumped into action.

"Alright. I'll start packing up, we'll hit it on the way outta town."

Cas smiled up at Dean like he held the stars in his eyes and Sam could practically feel his brother's cheeks heat up as he smiled back. Sam chuckled on his way to the shower; his ex-womanizer brother, blushing at the love of a male angel's smile. Things sure had changed.

xXx

They took their time loading the impala, for the first time in years, not in a hurry to skip town. The sun was just starting to set as they put the motel in the rear-view mirror, and almost dark when they reached the old farmhouse. It was small and thoroughly dilapidated, in the shadow of a looming barn just behind it.

"Start in the barn, and work our way forward?"Sam proposed as they parked behind the massive structure, out of sight from the road. Dean nodded, locking up the impala as he made his way to the old, rotting door.

The musk of rotting wood hit like a wave as Sam followed into the huge space, Cas following up behind him. Owls and bats hooted and beat their wings in the rafters, and vermin scratched on the floorboards. Haystacks and old firewood lined the walls, but the farther in Sam went, the more off the whole situation seemed to get. Everything seemed so normal, but the pit in his stomach made the place unsettling. His heart dropped to his toes as he looked down at the ground under his feet.

"Dean."

"Sh, Sam. The last thing we need is swarming bats in here."

"But, Dean-"

"God, what?"

"Look down."

Wings. Charred wingprints lay in slapdash, overlapping patterns across the ground. They were everywhere, covering the floor. Sam looked around the room like someone ripped a blindfold off.

That smell of wood rot wasn't just wood rot, now he could smell the holy oil and bloody iron. Rust colored stains made splotches over every surface, and Sam staggered back like he was stepping on a fresh grave, only to trip on the long chains of iron cuffs hooked into the walls from every side. He stumbled back, colliding with the wall of the barn, where a loose board fell away to a knife collection that rivaled the impala's trunk , only covered in long dried blood and surrounded with beautiful different colored feathers.

"Sam."

"W-what?" he sputtered and coughed back to reality like he was drowning. Sam had seen some terrible stuff, but this was just too cruel. Dean sounded just as strained.

"There's a car battery and some jumpers over here. Bull whip, too. Some sick puppy's messin' with some angel's in the worst way-"

"DEAAAANNNNN!" Cas.

The angel came scrambling out of the darkness, running to Dean and slamming into his arms. Dean wasted no time, wrapping his arms around the only angel he could, while Castiel babbled on about circles of extinguished holy fire and massive stores of holy oil and a bloodstained angel blade and strong grace bindings.

"We have to find who did this, Dean, and we have to save the angel still here."

"Cas, there's one still here? In here?"

"Just one. Up at the house. I can't tell who, it's weak, but I can feel them." Cas looked up at the brothers, sad and determined and angrier than Sam had ever seen him.

"Okay," Dean said resolutely "let's get out of this hellhole and get that angel."

The house wasn't in quite the shambles that the barn was- and definitely not abandoned. There were fresh tire tracks in the dirt outside and food in the old, cobwebbed icebox. It was dirty and grimy, but some sick son of a bitch had to live here. Notes, research, "experiments", and even photos lay on every surface, covering the walls and spreading across furniture and the floor. Sam felt his lip curl in disgust as he moved deeper into the house behind Dean and Cas. Whoever lived here was currently out, but that didn't mean that they had a lot of time to save this angel, and the brothers followed Cas like cops and a bloodhound across the creaky floorboards.

It must've been a bedroom at one point, but it was covered in blood and grime and pain made the air thick in the dingy room. A mattress lay in the center of the place with a heavy iron headboard propped up behind it, not even connected. Blood spattered the walls, new and old, and beautiful, golden feathers littered the floor, and it reeked of sex, iron, and pain. There was an angel-shape silhouetted by the scratchy looking sheet on the mattress. Sam's heart broke as he traced the petite frame with his eyes, landing on the one bit of skin and bone that he could see: an arm stuck out to the side of the mattress, red marks and dark bruising circled the frail wrist where it was chained to the old headboard by a long metal cuff. Cas stood by the hand at the headboard, utter shock and sad confusion written all over his face and posture.

"Cas?" Dean whispered urgently. There were headlights pulling up. "Cas, we gotta go, what is it?"

"Impossible..."

Hesitantly, afraid of the state of the angel in the bed, Sam walked forward to Castiel.

"Cas, what-" his breath caught. He was weak, pale, bruised, and naked under the sheet, but he was still beautiful in his bloody unconsciousness. He was alive, at least. Gabriel's soft golden hair was matted and tangled and his bottom lip was split with a dried, rusty line. Sam's knees buckled and he sunk down to his angel, heart pounding too loud for the worried calls of his brother as he came forward to see the tortured archangel. Footsteps creaked in the hallway, but Sam couldn't be bothered, staring at his love as if he'd disappear if Sam turned away.

They had no time to escape anyway. The creaking was nearly on top of them now, and Cas simply walked to the door, gagged and pinning the son of a bitch to the wall with a flick of a wrist. The last thing they wanted was to wake up the archangel in the bed.

The man was little, weaselly and dirty like the grime on his walls. Sam shook with hatred and vengeance like a dying leaf in the wind. His muscles taught and vibrating, he dug through his pocket and pulled out a paperclip for the lock of the chain. It clicked with a shrieking sob.

"PLEASE DON"T, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE, LEAVE-" he sucked in a breath as Sam slid his big hands around his freed wrist like he would break. His chest heaved, deep and fast, as they looked at each other. Those golden eyes, he missed those eyes. Sam thought he'd never see them again, and he couldn't do anything but smile breathlessly as his anger melted like a sandcastle and he took in all that he thought he lost. "S-Sammy?"it was a whisper. A broken whisper and Sam reached out to his angel. Gabriel jerked back, wild fear echoing through his flinch for just the second before his eyes filled with tears at his body's reaction. "I- I'm so sorry, I-" he opened his mouth, but there was nothing but a strangled cry. Sam tried to calm him, whispering to him about how much he missed him, how he was safe now, and they would take him away from here and take care of him. He talked him down with all the stories of what had happened since he left until he was calm, never letting go of his wrist.

"Sam?" A big hand touched his shoulder, jerking Sam back to reality and making him look up at his brother. Where was the guy that did this? He looked wildly around and tried to stand, only for Dean to push him back down. "It's okay. Cas' got 'im. He's not getting' any older than tonight. We're gonna head to Bobby's tonight, work out what's going on here." Sam nodded and Dean slapped his shoulder a little, turning to go, but he turned at the door. "Um Gabriel?" he cleared his throat, looking like someone suddenly stuck a pole up his back "it's- it's good to have you back." He left before anything could be said, and Sam thought he saw just a hint of Gabriel's old smirk when he looked back, but it was gone in a minute.

Sam rolled back onto his knees from where he perched at the edge of the mattress. He slid his jacket from his shoulders, tenderly wrapping it around his angel's shoulders, provoking a shiver that broke his heart. He called to Dean, who agreed to grab the big blanket from the back of the car. Castiel popped in just a moment later, making the older angel jump.

"Dean told me to give you this." Castiel handed over the massive blanket that always sat at foot of the impala's backseat, and he knew Dean would bitch later about making a naked archangel burrito out of it, but Sam didn't really care. Cas moved like a soldier, tense and vibrating through every sinew of his vessel. He looked at his brother for a long while, his gaze softening to a warm almost-smile. "It is good to have you back, Brother. You were missed dearly."

"Thank you, Castiel..." Gabriel sounded so different, so painfully serious. He was guarding every word he said, trying to hold in screams and sobs.

"Cas? Did you-"

"Kill that vile human? His soul is not even fit for the racks of Hell." Sam just nodded. He thought that would make him feel better, make Gabriel seem less broken, but it didn't, and Gabriel was still staring at his fingers as they picked at the mass of fabrics holding him together. "Tell Dean to bring the car around, okay?"

Once they were alone again, Sam sat back on the edge of the mattress, trying to meet Gabriel's eyes. He might be tortured, probably raped, experimented on like an animal, but he was alive. And that was more than Sam had before. He supposed he should be grateful, and, in a way, he was, but Gabriel wasn't. He was pained and haunted and ashamed.

"Gabriel?"

Nothing.

"Gabriel, can you stand?"

He jerked his head up for a second, like he was going to nod, but thought better of it, shaking his head. Sam nodded sadly. He looked so hopelessly ashamed. _Please don't hurt anymore, please look up at me and laugh like I remember you. I love you, I love you but I never said it... _But, he couldn't tell him now, could he? It was wrong, it was all so dirty and bloody and wrong to say "I love you" like nothing was wrong.

"Okay. I'm going to have to lift you, Gabe. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise, but we need to get you out of here."

Gabriel gave a stinted nod, tugging Sam's jacket and the impala's blanket tighter to his tiny little frame. Making sure Gabriel saw his every move, Sam gently wrapped his pipe organ arms around him, pulling him into a bridal carry, stopping the second Gabriel tensed.

"Am I hurting you?"

"Just get me out of here, Sam." It was so quiet and timid it could've been the creak of the floor, but Sam felt himself swell with hope as Gabriel said his name. He was still in there somewhere. He had to be.


	2. Chapter 2

** Hi again! Thanks so much for all the great feedback! Please let me know what you like about it, and/or what you would like to see happen in the future. And, since I have A TON of free time now that my school musical's over, so if you want, I am totally open to filling whatever little prompts you folks want- just PM me! :)**

** I own nothing.**

** Sorry it's a bit short, I'll make it up to you! **

Sam hurried down the hallway, gently setting his unconscious archangel down on the bed in one of Bobby's spare rooms. Wrapping the blankets and his jacket tighter around the petite little frame, the young hunter carefully stroked back the pained creases in Gabriel's sleeping forehead, running his fingers through the long golden hair, always gentle enough to never snag on the matted tangles. He just looked so small, and so fragile. Sam knew what must have happened; the way that he jerked away from him and begged not to be hurt, it was almost impossible that he hadn't been... he had been chained to a headboard, for Christ's sake! Sam was still praying in his mind to any deity out there that time could be turned back, just to stop that from coming to his beautiful angel.

Sam knew how to handle a rape victim. When he first got to Stanford he was homesick. He hated how much he missed it, especially after how hard it was to get out, and Sam laid awake in his dorm room, wondering how to fix it. He found it in a small clinic just off campus with a volunteer named Jessica Moore. It was the Catherine Moore Memorial Clinic for Sexual Assault Treatment and Therapy, and he got into a regular volunteering schedule with the pretty blonde mentor. It had a lot to do with Jess and how her sister's tragic rape and suicide brought her parents to start the clinic, but it almost filled the gap of hunting when he felt like he was helping the patients. It was exhausting and emotionally draining, but it was the best 4 years of Sam's life. At least, the best 4 years he could have without his brother there.

Sitting at the edge of Gabriel's bed, hand over the angel's heart on top of the covers, he thought about how terrible and bruised and ashamed the women (and scattered men) at clinic when they'd first stumble in the front doors. Curiosity and blind hope that his love wouldn't be covered in those same bruises brought Sam's fingertips to the top edge of the blankets, gently peeling them back. He released a breath in a quiet, dry sob, staring at all the deep gashes and black and blue hand prints and fists over his pale torso. But his brow furrowed at the strange metal bindings over Gabriel.

They were shining steel and red welts and inflammation on the white skin underneath it made them look barbaric. There were three of them: one was thin and tight around the bottom of Gabriel's throat. One clasped over and dug into his jutting hipbones. It was thicker, but not nearly like the last. It was around a foot wide, and molded into his body from his sternum to his navel. Jagged teeth bit down into the angel, with dried blood caked over the edges of the mysterious thing and bruises covering every inch of skin.

"CAS!"

He didn't even hear the pounding footsteps and nearly jumped out of his skin, turning around to look at Bobby, Dean and Cas as they stood in the doorway. Sam instantly zeroed in on Castiel, ignoring Bobby and Dean's questions for a moment- this was more important.

"Cas, what is this stuff?" The angel tilted his head as he moved forward, looking over the strange metal casings on his brother. He tentatively lay a hand over the shining things, jerking it back like a hot stove top the second he made contact. He got as close as he could without touching it, examining the bindings like they were under a microscope. It was a good minute before he stood up straight again, looking at Sam with a sigh.

"I have no idea, Sam. This... This is something I have never seen before. Whatever it is, though, it seems to be restraining his grace. The metal burns only other angels to the touch, but Gabriel himself is cold as ice." There was a long pause as Cas wracked his brain for anything that could be helpful "I think it would be best to wake him, and question him about them. He is traumatized, but if he is to get well, he must have his grace restored." Castiel raised his fingers to press them to his brother's forehead.

"Wait." Dean finally spoke up " Is he gonna... like, freak out, like last time? Should the humans leave?"

"I won't leave him." Sam said automatically.

"Actually, I think it would be best for you to step back, at least. We don't know how Gabriel will react, and if it is anything like it was in the farmhouse, then he might strike out at humans. But, Sam, I do want you to stay closer. Given your relationship, you may prove to be a calming presence." With a deep breath, he pressed his fingers gently to Gabriel's forehead, and he gasped like he was drowning as he opened his eyes and bolted upright. Like a skittish horse, he backed himself up against the headboard and curled in on himself as his eyes shot back and forth into the room. He was silent except for his ragged breathing. His throat sounded shredded and bloody when he exhaled.

"Brother?" Gabriel jumped and tried to pull himself away from the source of Castiel's voice. "Gabriel, please. I will never hurt you." Gabriel shivered and shook, looking at the wall in front of him blindly for a long moment. "Please look at me, Brother, we need to talk." The archangel took a shaky breath and closed his golden bloodshot eyes for a moment before turning his head to look at Castiel.

"What do you want?" he didn't sound angry, or snarky, or even sad. But he was resigned in a way that Sam didn't think he even could be, and the room was tense and sad.

" How long have you been back?"

"Um, I'd say about a month, I guess."

" And, how long ago were you... taken...?"

"About a month. If I had more time to adjust to being back, they wouldn't have …" Sam could practically hear the gears whirring in Dean's head, and Sam had a lot to say too, but no one dared say anything. Spooking Gabriel wouldn't end well.

"Alright. What are these bindings, Gabriel?"

There was a long pause this time, and Gabriel went back to staring at the floor, shivering and near-catatonic.

"Gabriel?"

"I- They're called Power Collars. They were invented by some- some guy to restrain angelic grace, but they had to make one 'special' for me, being an archangel... so mine is much more difficult and- and painful... I guess." His shivers were body wracking tremors now, and Sam tried to make him look at him, willing Gabriel to see that he cared about him and how he would sell his soul for his angel to get better. Tears were suddenly streaming down Gabriel's cheeks and he tried desperately to dig his bloody fingers under the center collar, scratching and pulling until he shrieked in agony and fell back on the bed, gripping his torso. Sam was at his side in an instant, gently but urgently taking his hands in his and pulling them away from the metal. Gabriel was too delirious to see him for a moment, didn't even register his touch until Sam shushed him quietly and brushed his stray hairs out of his eyes. The archangel stopped dead, and there was nothing but Sam's soft sounds and Gabriel's heaving breath. He had waited so long to have those eyes back, looking at him with that golden sparkle and mischievous smile. Now that he had his angel, his eyes were full of agony and shame.

"_Sam_. Sam- _Sammy_, I'm sorry, I'm _so sorry_, I-" now he was sobbing, and Sam wrapped his arms around the angel's back, saying he loved him, none of this could ever be his fault, there was nothing to apologize for, and held him tightly to his chest.

"What are you sorry for, Gabe? What happened?" Sam whispered after a long while, when the sobs reduced to whimpers.

"I- I couldn't stop him, there was nothing I could- _Oh_, I'm _so sorry_ Sammy..."

"Don't. Don't ever apologize for what that bastard did to you, Gabriel. It wasn't your fault and there is nothing to be sorry for. And no matter what you do, or whatever could happen to you, I promise I will never stop loving you. I lost you once, and I will not let that happen again." He pecked the angel's hair as he nuzzled into Sam's chest, clenching fists in his old t shirt "You are safe with me, and you will never not be." they sat there for a while, ignoring all the others around the room, just to calm down and breathe in. Sam felt fingers working against his chest and grabbed the fidgeting fingers as Gabriel pulled at the Power Collar again. He whimpered when Sam gripped his hand, but was quickly shushed by the large hunter as he rocked him gently. Like a child.

"Gabe, why does that hurt so much?" he didn't want to know, he had to find out, but he did not want to know.

"It- it holds my grace in these big teeth, like a comb or something, and they go into my chest to k-keep constant contact with it and- and drain it to the weakest point that they can while I can still show my w-wings... he _liked_ my wings... and whenever I do something wrong, or- or shift the teeth, it sends an electric pulse s-straight to my grace..." Sam gently squeezed him tighter to him and lifted the hand in his grip, pressing his lips to every fingertip before placing it in his lap.

"Please don't play with it anymore, okay? We'll find a way, we'll get it off you."

Gabriel shifted out of his arms suddenly, taking deep shaky breaths for a minute, and Sam pretended he didn't miss the familiar weight. Gabriel needed some space, he respected that. The silence was kept for just a little while, but then there was a soft knock at the bedroom door. Dean and Bobby walked in in a silent precession, holding towels, a large basin of warm water, a first aid kit, complete with whiskey and sewing needles, and Dean dropped a pair of massive sweatpants and a worn t shirt at the foot of the bed as he passed.

"They're Sam's, so they're huge, but I figured you'd like some clothes." he explained away simply, ditching the basin and rags on the bedside table.

Gabriel smiled the closest thing to a look of happiness that they'd seen since they got him, and Sam grinned. Dean would try and explain it away later, but the younger brother knew Dean was more worried about the little archangel than he would ever let on. Cas seemed to see it too, because he smiled a rare, toothy grin and tenderly ran his hand across Dean's back as he passed him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Holy Moly, you guys are so nice! Keep reviewing, but no flames, please. They make me so sad. What do you guys think of this one? I'm trying to start the actual main plotline as quickly as possible, so I don't bore you with fluffy, sappy, meaningless angst-fest. :)**

** I own nothing. **

** Warning: This chapter is a bit graphic for just a few sentences. Letting you know. **

The bloody water trickled back into the basin in a series of tiny drops that filled the silence between Sam and Gabriel as the hunter gently smoothed away the dried blood and stitched the gashes. Castiel had left awhile ago, asking to be told when they had finished with the bodily injured. Sam didn't really know what that meant, but figured he would know soon. Gabriel insisted on keeping him close, but he seldom let Sam touch him for more than a few moments at a time. He would definitely still be near when Cas came back. After he finished cleaning and stitching his archangel's torso, he cleared his throat uncomfortably. He knew it had to be done, at clinic it was one of the first things they did, but Sam had never been the one to complete physical examinations...

"Gabe?"

"hmm?" he sounded almost at peace, just lying there. Sam hated this, but he had to do it so Gabe wouldn't get sick...

"Gabe, I'm so sorry, but I have to check and clean e-everywhere... Could you... pull down the blankets, and- and spread your legs a little...?"

"No."

"Gabriel, I have to, please-"

"No. No, no, no, please don't. I can't- I-"

"I just want to keep you safe, okay?" he stared at Gabriel, his wide golden eyes and set jaw. He looked terrified. "Please, Gabriel. I will never hurt you, you know that. It's just me, okay? It's Sam, and I just want to keep you safe."

They looked at each other for a long moment, and Gabriel's lip trembled as he finally pushed back the covers and lay back a little more, staying up on his elbows. His legs shook as he spread them just enough for Sam to see, and both took a deep breath before Sam gently reached forward, warm washcloth in hand.

He was red and puffy and dried blood caked over his inner thighs from his entrance. Sam tenderly dabbed the washcloth, the blood sliding away into the terrycloth until Sam could see the violent red tearing around his edges. Gabriel was shaking all over by the time he smeared a cream across the torn skin and carefully replaced the blankets.

"Thank you, Gabriel. I'm- I'm so sorry, I had to."_ I'm sorry this happened to you, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm so so sorry_ he placed the washcloth back in the red tinted water, turning around at the breathy gasp from the archangel. His eyes were squeezed shut and tears were leaking out of the creases and silently slipping down his cheeks. His entire body was trembling and his head fell back against the pillows. Sam moved forward on the bed, carefully brushing the tears away with his fingers, shushing Gabriel's shuddering gasp as his fingers smoothed across his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Baby, I had to do it." Sam brushed away the tangles of hair that fell into his eyes. "It's over now, okay? It's just Sam, and I will never hurt you." He had a feeling that he'd be saying that a lot, at least until Gabriel got a handle on the flashbacks. He took the sweatpants off the end of the bed, and handed them gingerly to the slowly calming angel. "Do you wanna put these on before I grab Cas?"

He gave a watery nod and took the pants, pushing himself up to sitting before choking in pain and falling back against the pillows. A determined look took over his face, screwing into a concentrated grimace as he forced himself up. He tried to bring his legs around the bed, but was stopped when Sam took his arm at the elbow and legs at the knee, tenderly turning him and wrapping his arm around his collar- bound waist. Sam pulled him up to standing, but didn't let go of his waist. Gabriel whimpered and pressed his face into Sam's available shoulder for a moment.

"Are you okay?" _What a stupid question, Sam. _

"It's- It's been a long time since I stood on my own two feet, Sammy." Sam ran his fingertips over the part of Gabriel's back that wasn't covered in metal bindings, and carefully helped him into the pants.

They were huge. A good 6 or 7 inches of fabric pooled at the angel's feet, and, with the string pulled as tight as it would go, the waist still hung low around Gabriel's hips. Sam almost had to laugh: Gabe looked so sweet and endearing, wearing his clothes. The shivering and metal torso covered in stitches and bruises did take away from it a bit, though. He helped Gabe situate himself back on the bed, stopping at every wince and gasp until he was lying on his stomach (apparently the only comfortable position). Sam placed the covers back over his angel's shoulders and stood back.

"Well, I'm gonna grab Cas. I'll be right back-"

"Do you love me?" Well, if that doesn't stop you in your tracks...

"What?" Gabriel blushed and watched his fingers pick at the sheets like he hadn't said anything for a moment.

"Uhm, when- when everyone was in here, when I was... nevermind, just get Cas."

"No. I love you, Gabe. I have for a long time." he blushed, but ignored it and met Gabriel's gaze. His eyes looked a little more golden than usual. At least, the brightest since they found him. Sam gave him a nervous smile and kneeled in front of the bed. "I didn't even realize I said it when I did, all that mattered was you, and keeping you calm. I-I was going to tell you when all this was getting better, but- but I guess it just slipped out-"

"I love you too."

Sam thought his face might split with his grin. He wanted to kiss him, more than anything, but he knew he shouldn't, just squeezing Gabriel's chapped, bandaged hand instead. Gabe smiled back. Not a half-assed smirk, or a forced grimace, a real genuine smile. Sam felt his heart expand. It didn't last terribly long, but it was enough. Gabriel was always enough for Sam.

"You should probably get Cas now."

"I'll be right back." he said, pressing a dry kiss to his forehead as he went to the door.

"You sayin' this ain't worth it, Kid?"

"Bobby, you know what I'm sayin'. We didn't just save the world so it could go break itself again!"

"Guys?" Bother Bobby and Dean snapped their heads to the doorway. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, Sammy. How's the patient?" Dean tried to cover. Sam raised an eyebrow. Seriously?

"Weak and injured and scared, though he'd never admit it with words.: There was a tense pause "So, what's wrong? And, don't say nothing, and don't say it's none of my business, because if it has anything to do with 'the patient', then it's all my business." Dean promptly deflated and poured himself a whiskey.

"I don't like this, Sammy. If this is anything like what it looks like, then this is much bigger than just Gabriel."

"And, what exactly, does it look like-"

"A holocaust. What was going on in that damn barn was an act of genocide, and, seeing as that sicko was writing letters and 'comparing data' with some other crazy angel farms, he's not the only one!" They were interrupted by the distinct sound of wings as Cas appeared appeared next to Dean, making him jump out of skin. It would've been funny, but it wasn't.

"Hello. Did you tend to Gabriel, Sam?" Sam looked at his brother for a minute, with a clear 'we'll discuss this later' look, before nodding and following Cas down the hallway.

Genocide. Systematic killing of a race. Images of emaciated war prisoners and people being dragged from their homes and killed in the streets filled his mind. Rwanda. The Holocaust. Cambodia. Gabriel was a survivor of a massacre of his kind. When he reached the bed, he gently placed his hand over Gabriel's, stroking it and speaking softly until he opened his eyes with relative calm. Sam smiled a little. He didn't know if it was for Gabriel's benefit or his.

"Gabriel, I must ask you to manifest your wings." Castiel said quietly. Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to curl in on himself. "Please. I am so sorry, Brother, but it is the only way to ensure your healing."

"How about getting these damn things off me, so I'm not a prisoner in my own body. I'm not the Tin Man, Cas." Gabriel teased sharply. At least he still had some of his bite.

"I told you, I can't remove them. If I could, none of this would be necessary." Cas tilted his head in his puppy like way, genuinely confused.

"Gabriel, Gabe. Look at me." Sam gently took his face in his hands, cupping his cheeks until the muscles relaxed and he opened his eyes. He sounded so brave, but he looked absolutely petrified. His mask was so shattered; was he always this scared and insecure behind that smirk? "Hey, I know it hurts, but, while your grace is drained, we're gonna need to do things the human way. If your wings are broken, we'll need to set and splint them now, or they'll never heal right."

"_Please,_ Sam..." Shit, he felt awful.

"I'll be right here." Sam stroked away the one tear that escaped with his big thumb and tried giving a reassuring smile. God, he hoped he was doing the right thing. After a moment, Sam let go of his angel and backed away from the bed slightly, only for Gabriel to grab his hand tightly.

"Please don't leave me." With a pang, Sam realized that Gab wasn't just asking him to stay. He was asking him to _stay_; to still love him, no matter what he saw, or what he had ever done or had done to him. He was asking for Sam to stay no matter how broken he was. Even if he couldn't be fixed. _Please don't leave me. _Gabriel was utterly abandoned in the remains of his shattered bravado and snark. His mischievous little angel might never be the same.

"Okay." _What a stupid thing to say, Sam_. Gabriel didn't seem to mind, laying back on his stomach and closing his eyes, trying to relax. Slowly but surely, a shimmering, golden light got more and more tangible as it spread out from Gabriel's shoulder blades. Three sets of massive wings curled gingerly against the angel's back, filling the room with a warm glow.

They were hanging at peculiar angles, and jagged pieces of bones jutted out in places. Red marred the feathers, with dried blood caked over the gashes and torn feathers leaving angry welts. Gabriel whimpered quietly when they had fully manifested, and squeezed Sam's hand until the knuckles grinded together. The tips of the wings were blackened and burned, and his entire body shook with the weight and pain. If he was in this much pain now...

"Do- do we have to?" Sam all but whispered, hating to be the one that hurt his angel. Cas just nodded gravely.

"My grace is not strong enough to mend even Gabriel's minor scrapes right now, let alone his wings. Wings are a physical manifestation of grace. TO put it in human terms, Gabriel is literally 'bearing his soul' to us. When the wings are injured, it also hurts the emotional state and will cause permanent psychological damage, if they heal incorrectly." Sam nodded resolutely. The pain now would be worth the stability later. Now he just had to repeat that til he believed it.

"Let's just do it."


	4. Chapter 4

** Two chapters in one day, never say I never did anything for you people! This is in Dean's POV and it's the last chapter of set up for the main plot. Tell me your thoughts! **

** I own nothing.**

** This one's short and sweet :) **

I downed the last of my whiskey, trying to focus on the vague burn in my throat instead of the steadily growing crack in my glass as Gabriel's true voice bled through his screams. _I hope Sammy has enough sense to cover his ears. _

I looked at the clock; well, this definitely wouldn't be the first all-nighter the Winchesters pulled. But, it was the first all-nighter with a broken archangel screaming in pain at the end of the hall. I couldn't claim to like Gabriel, but damn, this was a whole new kind of shitstorm that I was still trying to wrap my head around. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Goddamnit, why couldn't the world just stay saved?! Why couldn't Sam just stay happy? Why did something always go wrong? I just wanna enjoy a cold drink without worrying about my brother or my... Cas. My Cas. I felt my lips twitch a little and a big feeling in my chest, like when a breeze blows through a room with vaulted ceilings. God, I sound like a sap.

My angel.

That was another thing: if this whole thing was what it looked like, how safe was Castiel? How safe were any of the angels? And who the Hell was Hitler in this operation? I just found Cas, I don't know what I'd do if he was taken. If he was hurt, especially like Gabriel was hurt... I'm still waiting for Sammy's explosion. I can't tell if it's a miracle or a curse that it's taking this long for him to get mad, but the kid could blow any second, and who knows what he'll do. I had Cas kill that nasty sicko so Sammy couldn't go on a crazy vengeance spree... but what'll he do instead?

"Dean." I would've reached for my gun if Cas' voice wasn't so instantly recognizable. His soft hands were squeezing my shoulders and digging gently into the tendons. I dropped my head to the side, squishing his hand between my cheek and shoulder._ I am so glad no one's seeing this. _Cas gave a tired smile and quiet chuckle, stroking his thumb over my exposed pulsepoint. I restrained a shudder. _God, the intimacy of it all_.

"how is he?" Cas sighed, starting to work his fingers into the muscle under his hands. I gave a small grunt. Since Cas got more comfortable with physical contact, there was pretty much never a time when he wasn't close enough to touch me. I'm not complaining.

"He's... going to recover... the pain in his wings has subsided a bit now that they are set and bound. And he's more comfortable now that they aren't physically manifested. Sam is with him."

"Is Sam okay?" I might not be Gabriel's biggest fan, but Sam was head over heels for the guy. He couldn't possibly be 100% right now.

"He's very dedicated. I admire his restraint."

Okay...? "Restraint?" Cas smoother his palms over my shoulders and down the expanse of my back before coming around to sit beside me on Bobby's old couch.

"Dean," he reached forward and pulled one of my hands into his lap, tangling our fingers "if I died like Gabriel did, before you ever even told me a word about your feelings, how would you feel?" A world without Cas, full of unanswered questions and "what if?s". I stared at our joined hands. "And, not only that, but, months later I reappear. You're so happy, but I'm so injured and violated and utterly fragile that the fundamentals of my personality had been stripped away. I'm sad, and quiet and scared, but all you want to do is kiss me. But, I can barely keep physical contact for longer than a moment. Sam is being very patient. And he will have to be for quite a while. He's just as miserable as Gabriel."

I felt empty; like I had my guts scooped out and my ribs kicked in. I squeezed Cas' hand in mine, and looked up at him. His eyes were an innocent blue, looking back sadly. Their brothers were so miserable, and they couldn't even fathom being apart. His soft mess of hair looked so black and silky, I took my free hand and ran it through my angel's hair, coming down to cup the back of his neck. I didn't care how chick-flicky this was, or who could be watching as I pulled him close. I relished the feeling of his lips, dry and warm against mine. I felt like I was drowning, and deepened the kiss, wanting to feel his heartbeat all around me. I could die this way. Die a happy man, kissing my angel. After a moment, Cas pulled away, but stayed close, holding me looped in his arms.

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you, Cas." I was almost panting. He looked so honest, it was frightening. With anyone else, this would be my cue to disappear, but I wasn't afraid. I loved Cas, I could be with him forever. There was a moment of quiet, and Cas curled up beside me, nuzzling into the crook of my neck.

"Dean."

"Cas."

"We need to get the collars off of Gabriel soon, or he will never heal properly." Ugh. I wish I could just lie here forever. I sighed.

"I know, Cas. We got Bobby heading to that farmhouse right now." It made perfect sense to me, but Cas looked at me like I had three heads. "He's grabbing all the information and papers that sicko was saving. He should be back tomorrow morning. I figure we take a couple days to check it out, let Gabriel heal up a little, and then we hit the road." There was no way it was gonna be that simple. But it was a start.


	5. Chapter 5

**UGH! I'm so sorry this took so long, I was in a really bad place this week. I hope it's good... let me know!**

** Warning: rape (not graphic in the actual act, but graphic enough to trigger, if that's something that hurts you)**

** I own nothing**

6 days. Dean, Bobby, and Cas slaved over letters and spreadsheets, and analyzed goddamn photographs. All of the sick shit in Angel Auschwitz was getting picked apart, and they were all exhausted. Cas had to leave halfway through the day, after running across a picture of a viciously dissected dead angel that was apparently once called Inias. The next picture of a hopeless, mutilated angel was gonna make him hurl, he could feel it. So, naturally, he reached for the next box of evidence and cracked the lid. It was an old file crate, marked '56028' in bright red marker.

And then he felt the bile rise in his throat like a bad hangover.

They were all photos of Gabriel. He looked alright at first. Maybe a little pale, and- let's face it- there was always something a little unnerving about circle of holy fire. But then, the farther he digged, staring at every picture for even a hint of a suspect or location, Gabriel got more haggard, tired, and... bloody. No wonder he wanted those collar-things off so badly; they practically dissected him alive to get them on him. The pictures were taken in a different warehouse or barn around every 50 pictures._ I guess we can rule out a small-scale operation.._. Gabriel looked so scared. Genuinely terrified in a way that Dean had never even imagined that the smirking little prick could get. The last grouping of pictures were all in that grimy bedroom, with Gabriel all sorts of tied up or tortured, some with his wings flexed out and shackled to the ceiling in a way that must've hurt like Hell.

Letters and journals of notes labeled '56028', the mysterious specimen that they couldn't be broken, sat in stacks in the crate._ He seems pretty broken now..._. but Dean couldn't help but smile as they described him as the one whose Grace was so hard to lock up, and apparently was quite the fighter... til he ended up chained to a headboard.

_…. If he's that proud, I trust you to break his dignity. I know you'll like that. He is awfully pretty, even for an animal. A real purebred bitch..._ Dean felt his lip curl as he started reading …. _We can't lose this one, it's the strongest yet. He could be everything we need... Don't disappoint me, Dr. A. Harkness..._Harkness. Harkness! They had a name! A lead!

"Bobby, look up anything you can find on a 'Dr. A. Harkness'!"

"You got somethin'?"

Dean threw the worn old letter at Bobby as forcefully as you can throw a piece of paper.

"Sicko letter signed by a 'Dr. Harkness'. Sounds like a Scooby Doo villian, but he's all I got."

"I'm on it." Bobby was out the door to the library. The man got shit done.

"STOPPP! ST-OPPPPP IT, _PLEASE_..." Dean jumped for a second, but relaxed after another beat. He would never get used to Gabriel's flashbacks. "PLEASE, PLEASE I PROMISE I'LL- I'LL BE GOOD! JUST LEAVE ME ALO-O-ONE!" he trailed off into a sob.

God, Dean hoped this guy was a lead, Gabriel was getting worse every day. Physically, he was recovering pretty fast, but he was an emotional, mental wreck. A shiver ran down his spine at another scream down the hall, almost immediately quieted by Sam's gentle muttering.

Dean was so worried about Sammy. While insomnia wasn't strange with the Winchesters, it definitely make it healthy, and hadn't eaten or slept properly since they brought Gabe home. The archangel was healing, but the collars had to come off before the cold got to him. He was constantly shivering and trembling and couldn't get warm no matter what. When Dean asked what was happening, Cas explained that 'God's love was the warmth of Grace that created the angels, and when Gabriel was captured and restrained, his Grace was torn away.' Apparently, that made him cold. The flashbacks were the worst. In the middle of the night, there would be screaming bloody murder. Then they started happening during the day too. Screaming, catatonic episodes, hyperventilating, vomiting; Gabriel was haunted. After the current screaming became nothing but quiet whimpers, Dean heaved himself out of his chair at Bobby's kitchen table. He needed a beer.

"Gabriel, you need to rest. We can't leave yet, and I don't want you to strain yourself." Sam tried to placate his angel.

"I just... Sam, I need to get up. I can't stay in this damn bed anymore!" He retorted. Gabe was going stir crazy, and now that he could stand and walk a bit, he thought he could do anything. Sam bit back an exasperated sigh, taking a step closer to stop his archangel.

"Gabe, if you push yourself too far, we don't know what'll happen!" He tried to be firm without yelling. It didn't really work.

"If I don't try, I won't know what I can do!" He took a step closer, slipping on the blanket that trailed to the ground.

"Gabriel!" Sam grabbed him under the arms and around the waist, holding him tight to keep him up. Bad choice.

_Gabriel was drained completely. Every move hurt and his vessel felt like it weighed a bloodsoaked ton. He tried futilely to pull at the cuff holding him down on the strange, soft, lumpy surface. Where was he?_

_ "You are so... so pretty for something so invasive. Worthless. But, maybe there's a use for your breed in the human world." Carl stared at him, he had a feral grin on his face and he stood at the foot of the... mattress? Gabriel glared back, fighting the panic gripping his chest. His captor laughed. He actually laughed! Gabriel tried to kick out at him, but his leg wouldn't lift, giving a jerky little move that made him feel pathetic, and made Carl laugh harder. "Awh,so sweet. Sucks for you, the collars are kicking in. No matter how strong you are, you will never feel that power again." he unbuttoned his fly and slid his pants down his scrawny legs. Gabriel's heart fluttered in his chest, and he tried to curl in on himself. He closed his eyes, squeezed them shut when he heard the distinct sound of a belt cracking, and jumped a little. _

_ Think of something, something beautiful, because this cannot be happening, no no no. The mattress dipped under a new weight between his legs. Sam. Think about Sam. He's so brave and beautiful. Sweet, endearing, doofus Sam Winchester. _

_ He could never love you now. You're damaged, and the party hasn't even started yet. You're broken, so broken you'd be lucky to die here. Do you think Carl's right? Do you deserve all this? _

_ "No no no, you're gonna look at me, Sweetheart. I'm the last thing you should worry about... I'm just... sampling the new merchandise? People'll pay through the nose for a night with you, Angel..." His breath reeked, he bit down hard on Gabriel's ear and then there was nothing but white hot, burning pain. It split him open and turned him inside out, and he couldn't even hear himself scream._

_ But he deserved it._

"Gabriel! Gabriel, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to grab you, I just didn't want you to fall-"

He was on the floor. The pain was dulled and Sam came swimming into view in front him. Sammy. He had taken Gabriel's hand and shoved it up his shirt, warm skin and strong muscle pounding under his fingertips above Sam's heart. He always woke up like this after an episode, and he could feel Sam's soul trying to reach out and touch him through the skin to skin contact. He loved him.

Gabriel's vision blurred with hot tears, and he tried to pull his hand back to himself, only for Sam's big warm hand to hold him there. _Stop. Stop it, please. I want you to love anyone but me, leave me alone... _Sam could never actually love him. He never should.

"W-why are you... you here?" he whispered, stumbling over his words. Sam looked so sad in that moment that Gabriel would do anything to take it back. But he had to know. _You hurt him. You hurt everyone you touch. _

"What? I-I'm here because I love you. Because I... I thought you were dead, and now I have a second chance with you." Sam had tears in his tired, bloodshot eyes. "I just want you to get better, Baby..." He reached out to cup Gabriel's cheek in that way that he loved- it made him feel so small and safe... Gabriel would never admit how good it felt to be cared for- but the archangel pulled back this time. He shook his head. _How could you love me? _

"I-I'm not the same... I'm broken, Sam. I'm not worth it." He had such dark circles under his eyes, Gabriel couldn't help but think about the last good night's sleep Sam had had. Stubble dotted his jaw and cheeks. He looked sick and exhausted, but so so beautiful. Always. He was tearing himself apart for Gabriel to get better. Guilt ripped into him. "Why can't you love someone who deserves you?"

"I already do." He crouched closer, taking his hands and gently touching his bruised wrists. He tried to pull away, but Sam wouldn't let go. "One day you'll see that. I promise." He looked so earnest and loving, and Gabriel felt safe. He felt safe with Sam, damnit. And for some reason, Sam loved him. Gabriel sobbed. It was like breathing for the first time when the hunter put his arms around him and pulled him close.

He was just so cold. He burrowed into Sam's chest, feeling his heartbeat and the thrum of solid muscle and heat against his skin. The perpetual cold always brought Sam closer to him, trying to stop his shaking. Gabriel wasn't stupid. He knew he wouldn't last much longer without his grace. He had probably about a week left, and he was starting to doubt if he even wanted the Winchesters to save him. They would all be better off, wouldn't they?

"Don't you ever think that... I love you and I could never lose you again."Sam said. Was Gabriel talking out loud?

"Yeah Baby, you are." Oh.

"So, looks like this Harkness guy went rogue a couple years back. I've talked to some connections that've seen him apparently. Even worked with him."

"He's a hunter?!"

"Kinda. More like a 'wealthy client with specific instructions'. Used to be a professor in St. Louis, until his wife's tragic death 'bout a year and a half ago."

"Demon? Ghost?"

"Cancer. Apparently, he was very religious before she passed. Praying three times a day, through all of her surgeries. After she died, he got weird, though. Talked about being 'cheated by God'. A little strange for a professor of Theology and Christian Folklore. Then he just... poof." Dean nodded, before clapping Bobby on the shoulder.

"Thanks Bobby. Guess we're headed to St. Louis."

"Look after yourselves."

Dean was packing up the Impala when Cas popped back into existence next to him. Gabriel was already in the car. He was walking by himself now, but every time he took a step, Sam looked he was ready to lunge in for a rescue. It was almost comical, but Dean knew neither of the two would appreciate him laughing at them. And, while he hated chick flick moments, the last thing he wanted was for Gabe to be uncomfortable. If that meant quiet and a lack of sudden movements, Dean could manage that. Being honest, he missed the snarky little trickster from before.

They had been on the road for a solid two hours when Gabriel fell asleep, curling in close to Sam's heat, shivering and shaking. Sam beamed; Gabriel barely let him hold him for more than a few minutes at a time. The progress was undeniable and he wrapped his arm tenderly around his archangel's back, stroking over where his wings would be. Sam hadn't slept more than 2-3 hours the past 6 days. His eyes started to droop the moment Gabriel was in his arms. He was going slow, but there was steady progress, and Sam could sleep knowing he'd have his angel back soon. This Harkness guy better start settling his affairs: Sam Winchester was hunting him down.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello. I'm sorry it's been so long. I was hoping that I'd be able to keep my stupid personal life off here, because I really hate to whine, but you guys deserve my reasons for leaving you high and dry so often:**

** I have suffered clinical depression, social and generalized anxiety, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, insomnia, an auditory processing disorder, OCD, anger management, Hypomania, slight ADD, anemia, blackouts (I don't know what else to call them), and anorexia for the past 7 years (roughly). I was 4 months into recovery, until I relapsed a couple weeks ago. I stopped cutting but, the farther I go with my ED, the harder it is to resist. My medication has almost completely stopped working and I'm trying so hard to keep my head above water with my schoolwork alone. But I love this. I love writing, and I love your feedback... you guys are so good to me. Thank you. **

** Enjoy. Beware: it's a rough one.**

** I own nothing.**

_Gabriel came to with a hazy film over his vision and the throbbing weight of his manifested, injured wings all along his spine. His grace wasn't fully restrained- they were too dumb for that- but the collar around his neck still drained him like nobody's business. The sharp burn from the cuffs that had been shoved through the wings' membrane and muscles at the top joints of his two flight wings was a pain that extended through his entire being, and made his thoughts fuzzy. He tried to rub at his eys, only to feel the heavy weight of metal around his wrists- that were frighteningly thin, now that he looked. _

_ Figures. He should be used to the human restraints by now. He blinked the world into focus, but he smelled it before anything else, and his heart fluttered. Maybe these humans weren't as dumb as he originally thought._

_ Holy oil. He didn't know how or when, but the stuff was everywhere now, and he looked wildly around. He was in some kind of warehouse, kneeling on the cold cement ground at an awkward angle. He instinctively flinched away at a small movement out of the corner of his eye, but felt himself fill with relief in less than a second. There were two angels at his sides, each about a yard away from him. They were grimy and bruised and bloody, but Gabe smiled all the same. They were alive. _

_ "Hey! Hello? Sister, do you know where we are? Who are these people?" he tried to sound kind and non-threatening, but she didn't even turn her head to him. So he turned to his left. _

_ "Brother?" It had been so long since he was this formal, but a piece of home looked like just what this angel needed; he was crusted over and smeared with dried blood, so much so that Gabe could barely see his skin, and his eyes darted back and forth over the room scatteredly. "Brother, what's your name?" PLEASE ANSWER ME! He could feel himself panicking when he slowly realized that he could hear his heartbeat. But not in his chest. He had suction cups and tubes coming off his torso and neck, and the mechanical hammering got louder from a shitty monitor in the corner of the room. What were they going to do with him? Did they do it to this angel, too?_

_ "... Inias..." it was a slurred murmur that Gabriel wouldn't have heard if it wasn't so unnaturally quiet- besides the unnerving heartbeat that echoed in the space. Why did that sound so familiar... Inias._

_ "Inias? Of the last garrison?" He nodded at the ground "Do you remember me?" it was barely a hope. The angel had been so young; just a fledgling with rest of his brothers and sisters, when Gabriel had... left. But, Gabriel remembered Inias. He remembered all of his charged fledglings, especially Balthazar and Castiel and sweet little Inias. He had loved the gardens, but hated the loud centers of heaven- quite like him and Cas. Gabriel loved all his garrisons like his own children. He loved Inias and he felt a terrible ache in his chest to know he was hurting so badly. He felt a pang of crippling guilt and Inias was about to respond-_

_ "Pull." a deep voice came from the shadows, and the air around them seemed to tighten with __their collective fear. Inias and the other angel began steadily pulling his wrists and arms out from his body. They kept going until he was strung up, spread out like a deer waiting to be skinned and gutted. Then there was the sound of slapping flesh and Gabriel looked over, through the pain of cramping muscles and stinging gashes, to see Inias collapsed on the ground. He had barely touched the floor before he lit up with blue electricity. The young angel shrieked and spasmed on the cold ground, and Gabriel was just about to turn away in disgust, when he was suddenly completely still- besides his heaving chest and shaking bones._

_ "… I... r-remember... Brother-"_

_ "Take this one away; he's an invalid, even for this breed. Perhaps we can learn from his autopsy." clicking heels of hard soled shoes echoed forward through the scuttle of the other angel frantically dragging her brother away. Gabriel jerked in his bindings, biting back the pain as he saw red with the need to protect an angel beyond help. "Well, well, well... you are as spunky as my associates warned me... shall we see if you're as resistant to pain?" the large man made a slow walk around the displayed archangel, who was suddenly painfully aware of his nakedness. The cold little eyes appraised him like a show dog, and Gabriel clenched his jaw. He let out a low whistle around halfway, and Gabriel didn't appreciate being unable to see his enemy. He didn't appreciate it at all when a meaty paw gripped his fractured wing and twisted it as he pulled outward. Gabriel tugged it back out of his grip, hoping his cry of pain sounded more like anger to the stranger. "These wings..." he growled admiringly, with thinly veiled coldness that wasn't lost on Gabe. He tried to hide his shiver. "You hold so much power in your body... too stupid, too worthlessly ignorant and greedy! YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO USE YOUR POWER!" There was a sharp snap and Gabriel screamed, too caught off guard to hide it, as the man flicked his wrist with his tight grip. Gabe could feel the newly severed bone grinding together at the break, and felt wetness prick his eyes. No. No, he wouldn't give him that satisfaction. "you don't appreciate the gift of healing until you're truly broken... and I will break every. Inch. Of you." he scoffed something that sounded similar to "...prideful bird..." but Gabriel didn't have time to dwell on it long._

_ Pain. Painpainpain and nothing else. He tore his throat apart with his screams as the circle of holy oil ignited around him. He watched as the tips of his wings charred and bled; they crossed the line of magic fire. There was no stopping it now, but Gabriel was too absorbed in miserable anguish to feel the tears on his cheeks. _

"Gabriel!" Sam hated these. Gabriel was shaking so hard he was vibrating, and he was squirming around on the bed like he couldn't breathe. The motel had thin walls and Sam knew he had to bring the angel out of this before the screaming started. He situated himself on the edge of the mattress, shirt unbuttoned and hanging. Gently but urgently, he pressed Gabriel's clammy palm to his heartbeat. He wasn't sure why it brought him out of his episodes, but he was glad something could. The tension in the archangel's muscles relaxed just the slightest bit against his warm skin, and Sam was careful not to call him back too loudly. Stroking his thumb over the torn knuckles, he carded his other hand through the soft, honey gold hair, pushing away the strands that caught on his eyelashes as they opened. He gasped like he was drowning, and blunt nails dug into Sam's pec muscle where his hand cradled Gabriel's.

"Shh shh, it's me. It's just Sam." He met Gabe's eyes, and the scared tension slid away in seconds. He melted into the sheets and let his hand slide into Sam's lap, still gently gripped by his bigger hand. Gabriel looked around confusedly, starting to open his mouth and ask, but Sam knew. Sam always knew. "We're in a motel in Cincinnati. You fell asleep." They were quiet for a moment, save for the chattering of Gabriel's teeth and the hiss of the radiator in the corner of the room.

"Will you... Sam, I'm cold..." he sounded so timid it broke Sam's heart.

"I know, Baby. Dean and Cas are at the library doing research. We'll get your grace back."

"You don't- you don't know that..." Sam squeezed the little hand and frowned "Sammy," he chuckled breathily. Gabriel definitely wasn't doing so well, and it would only get worse until they fixed this... _If we fix this_. Sam made himself shake that thought away; they had to save him. "I- I miss you... Keep me warm?" the feeble invitation and little spark in his glassy eyes were so similar to their old cocky little trickster that Sam almost cried, and was lying down and taking Gabriel's frail body into his arms without a thought.

He never thought he would wish for the apocalypse back. But things had actually been way simpler then. Compared to now, at least.

His shirt was still undone, and his warm skin didn't even process the shock of cold from Gabriel's frozen metal and torn flesh. They fit together so perfectly. Gabriel curled in close after a tense moment of hesitation, and pressed his ear over Sam's heart. His big hands found his waist and wrapped around him tenderly.

What a sick bastard.

Apparently, Andrew Harkness was everywhere. But not in the public world; in their world. The hunting world was all about this guy, and his new research into killing what was 'invasive'... So, he was a total dick, but also a massive presence to hunters. But he wasn't a hunter; he was a client. A wealthy one who paid.

Andrew Harkness was turning everyone into his personal, angelic bounty hunters.

"What ch'a got, Bobby?" Needless to say, Dean was in a bit of a mood by the time he got back to the motel and his phone rang. _Is it too much to ask for a quiet moment with a beer?_

"You're on the radar, boy."

"What?" How vague; what did he think he was, a mind reader? Dean rolled his eyes, but tried to be as quiet as possible, since Sammy and Gabriel were sleeping again. At least there was no more silent vigil at the archangel's bedside.

"Carl Grayson- that asshat that was all over our little friend- is now considered a martyr by the hunting masses. Gabriel is officially Public Enemy no.1 and everyone is looking for him. Whatever's in St. Louis is gonna be in super lockdown. That mean's you idjits are careful as all Hell, got it?" Good old Winchester luck on this one...

"Well, then what do we do? Bobby, we can't just try, try again! Gabriel looks like shit and he's running out of time. These collars gotta come off, pronto."

"I ain't sayin' that, Dean. I'm sayin' you might run into some unwelcome company, so best be prepared for it." He heard a sigh crackle down the line "Look, they know what Gabriel looks like, an' they got some freaky way a' knowin' angels, so Cas isn't in the best position either. But, while they don't really like you boys, they don't know you aren't on their side..."Dean rubbed his eyes til stars popped in his vision. Damn computer screens...

"we go undercover?"

"It's what I'd do." Dean nodded absently.

"Thanks, Bobby."

"Look out for each other." the older man grumbled just before hanging up.

Dean exhaled a loud sigh. Andrew Harkness had a big old warehouse just outside St. Louis city limits. It was part of his father in law's export business in the 1980's... Somebody with the power to take off those damn collars was bound to be there.

"What'd Bobby say?" Dean nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Jeez, Sammy!" He looked a little closer at Sam, and felt disappointment and worry sink in his gut. "Have you slept at all, Man?" He looked slightly less dead since his and Gabe's little car nap, but he was a far cry from good. Sam just shrugged, careful not to jostle the sleeping archangel on his chest.

"I slept in the car, and I was sleeping for a while before you got here. Gabe's just..." he ran a hand down his face, and Gabriel curled a little closer in his sleep, promptly Sam to drop a kiss into the top of his hair. He looked miserably worried and hopelessly in love. :he's dying all over again, Dean. What do I do?" his voice broke a little, and I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't break for him. "I can't lose him _again_..." he whispered.

They had been through so much shit. Why couldn't Sam just catch a break? Dean caught his when Cas came along... He couldn't imagine the pain of holding your dying lover with nothing to do to help them.

_You're on the radar, boy... _

Cas should've been back from the library 20 minutes ago. Oh my god.

Where was Castiel?


	7. Chapter 7

** AHH! I don't know what to do! AHH! HELP! Tell me what you want to happen next? It would really help me with this nasty writer's block. **

** Thanks so much for your support and well wishes, while it's not as easy as that, it helps to know I have so many wonderful people that appreciate my writing. **

** I own nothing. **

** It's pretty short. I'll make it up to you! **

Cas lifted his eyes from the computer screen and watched Dean leave. He felt guilt seat itself deep in his gut as the door swung closed and Dean glanced back through the glass one more time with a nervous smile before disappearing down the road. It had taken forever to convince his lover to let him stay behind; maybe Dean was just worried and protective, or maybe he saw right through his half assed lie.

He never really understood the purpose of lying until they found the location of this 'Harkness' man. It took a short while for him to understand the strange pull on his grace, but finding the warehouse seemed to have flipped a switch- for vengeance. His brothers and sisters were _dying_, being tortured and experimented on like common animals. He had to witness the true state of conditions his siblings were subjected to, and- hopefully- discover how to save Gabriel from the collars. He x'ed out of the computer, like Dean had showed him, and swiftly left the library and took flight.

Castiel remembered when this was a meadow. It had been beautiful and full of wild flowers. There had been a river that ran through it and sparkled when the sun was just about to disappear behind the treeline of the forest beyond. Now, the river stank with murky pollution, and cement blocks and boarded windows had long since killed the flowers. Cas just couldn't understand, sometimes; how human beings could destroy beauty and peace for the sake of industry and wealth. Today, centuries later, he stood in front of a tall, barbed wire fence and was just close enough for the pull of the tortured graces to touch his own. It sent a shiver down his spine, and made him feel dirty with nausea.

The building was gigantic, with a massive warehouse portion of rust red brick and storage units, and what looked like it could be and office building smushed into the side. Cas focused for a moment and took flight into the structure.

He landed in a storage closet. At least, it looked like a storage closet to him. Shrouding himself with grace, he opened the door to make his way down the hallway.

The first thing that reached him was the smell; like burning flesh and blood and lightning. Then the screams hit him like a wall of sound that ripped at his ears and raked themselves down his back. It took a solid minute to block them out enough to move his limbs and focus his vision, and Cas slowly walked down the hallway. There were doors everywhere, but no windows into the rooms at all. The ceilings were low and the floors were sparkling clean and smelled like acrid disinfectant. Taking it for face value, Cas would've thought he was in the world's most dysfunctional hospital. The immense size became clear as Cas started making his through floor after floor, with constant flights of stairs. Rooms and rooms, all locked up and shrieking in a way that would've broken every window if the screamer's grace wasn't restrained.

It wasn't until he reached the ground floor that realized a change; silence.

It was completely quiet, all locked doors and sanitized floors. But, there were no screams. Focusing hard, Cas willed himself through the door at the end of the hall. He was in a large conference room- at least, he assumed that was what it was, with no chairs- the table was flipped up against the wall, cuffs securely holding an unconscious angel against it. Other than that, it was completely empty. Cas could feel his power start to drain from his grace, and revealed himself as he hurried down the length of the room to his sister, only to stop dead just in front of her.

He couldn't feel a grace. There wasn't a single light in her vessel, and his heart sunk through his body- she was dead. Blood spattered across her mouth and nose, and electrical burns scarred all the way down her exposed body. There were no wingprints: they had moved her corpse from the place of her death. Did all the rooms look like this down here? Castiel bristled at the show of disrespect, although he wasn't surprised. Her collar was still digging into her throat, and he grimaced at the way the torn flesh clung to the short spires.

Footsteps.

He couldn't afford to conceal himself.

He couldn't be seen.

He couldn't just leave!

There was a key grinding in the lock.

Rick just didn't like it; she couldn't have been any older than his little Grace when she... disappeared. He looked long and hard at the young angel against the table and heaved a sigh. His Gracie... Dr. Harkness said he could find her, said these 'things' were holding her captive, and it was only a matter of time before one of them cracked under the pressure.

Angels weren't supposed to be real, though. In all his years hunting, he had never seen or even heard of a single angel sighting. And all he could see was a young dead girl with torture and autopsy scars all down to her toes. But, there must be some reason for all this.

He walked closer and gently pressed his hands to the lifeless neck and whispered the incantation over the silver collar, sighing a breath he didn't know he was holding when they unclasped at the hidden seams. Carefully prying it into its two halves on the back hinge, he took it from around his neck and placed it back in his bag for the hunters that were out in the field. To be used again on another one. He missed the lip of his bag and the metal clattered to the floor and he grimaced at the blood on the spiked interior of the collar. If his superior asked, he would've said that the shudder that ran across his shoulders was just a trick of the light. He hated the idea of having a 'superior': he was a hunter. He didn't take orders from anyone. But, Gracie was all he had, and if this was what he had to do...

He jumped out of his skin at the scuffle of feet -and were those wings?- turning just fast enough to see a flash of tan and black before, suddenly, he was alone again. He went to pick up the fallen collar only to find it gone.

Wings.

Was he supposed to report that?

"CAS!" Dean cried the second he heard the wings, going to grab the angel, only for him to meet him halfway and fall into his arms. He held him for a moment like his body was incomplete without his angel, before pushing him back and holding him at arms length. "Cas, what the Hell were you thinking!? Where were you?- and you weren't at the library, so don't even try that shit with me!" His eyes weren't focusing, and he gripped Dean's shoulders like he would fall without them "Shit, Baby. What happened to you?" he softened his voice just a little, trying to catch his eyes while sitting him down on the bed, kneeling in front of him.

"Dean, I- am very sorry, but-" Oh god. "I went to the warehouse and-"

"WHAT!?" Dean jumped back to standing, fear and worry coiling in his fingers and toes, images of Cas in Gabriel's position flashing through his brain and he instantly began checking him for injuries with his roving green eyes. "Do you have ANY idea what could've happened to you!? Cas, you can't just DO shit like that!" He wanted to shake him and- oh god, he could've died! He could've lost him! "HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH!?"

"WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN!?" Dean was shocked into silence. Cas didn't yell, it simply wasn't something that happened. He took the quiet as consent to begin. "Gabriel is dying, and-" he stopped and took a heaving breath "I think I know how to get the collars off of him."

They were in the car before nightfall, and at the bared wire fence by the time the moon rose.

"Okay, Cas. Are you sure?" Dean said, for probably the five or sixth time.

"God, yes! Dean, he's been sure the past seven times you've asked that!" Sam hissed under his breath. Gabriel just smirked tiredly, not having the energy or will to chime in his usual comment. Sam was nervous. So was he. But this was a damn good plan, and- though he would never admit this- Gabriel trusted them. Gabe trusted Dean Winchester. That was pretty wacked. He gave a feeble squeeze to Sam's big hand, although it took a long drag on his stamina. He was just so _cold_.

Dean grumbled something unintelligible and fastened the stolen collar around Castiel's neck with a haphazard closure, so as not to actually hurt or restrain the angel. Gabriel felt a desperate need to protect his little fledgling brother in that moment and frustrated tears almost came to his eyes when his limbs were too heavy to lift. He could get hurt, he could get captured or restrained or killed- all of them could-while, back in the day, Gabriel could level this entire place and save every angel inside. They were in this mess because of him, and he didn't deserve it. It just wasn't worth it to save something so pathetically undeserving. If any of them died, Gabriel didn't know what the Hell he would do. He stopped the internal monologue when he felt a gentle press of lips at his temple. He tensed instantly. _Carl pain rape dirty sinful_- Sam. It was Sammy. The archangel relaxed and tried his best to arch into the warmth.

"Alright, lovebirds. We get out of this with our cocky little trickster back intact. Let's go." Dean whispered, snapping the chains on the fence, keeping careful watch for guards as they slipped through. Gabriel was carefully and strategically placed in Sam's arms. They were supposed to hang back, wait for Cas and Dean to clear the way. As much as they wanted to wipe this whole goddamn place off the map, Dean claimed they just didn't have time. The plan was to get the collars off him. And, if they saved some angels on the way, that'd be just dandy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the wonderful ideas! Even the ones that don't get used in this will probably make their way into the sequel. It's another short one- cuz writers' block is a bitch- but it'll hopefully be good... :) Let me know!**

** I own nothing!**

Dean swallowed down bile at the look of the looming building. He could practically feel the despair of the victims just by knowing they were there. Wordlessly, he and Cas crept back across the fence and into the cover of the trees and brush just outside it. The impala sat, waiting in the clearing, and Dean took a look at it -just for some sense of comfort- before he got in behind the wheel. Cas met his eyes in the rearview mirror and tried a reassuring smile. It probably ended up as more of a grimace, but Cas didn't even hint at it. He took a deep breath and set his baby into drive. Dean shivered at the look of the building in the distance: he felt like he was in a comic book, heading to the evil lair.

But, this wasn't a guaranteed, pre-written victory with capes and distressed damsels. His brother was hanging in the shadows with a weak, dying archangel that couldn't lift his own head in the middle of enemy territory. Dean just had to hope against hope that Sam and Gabe would be there when they opened the door for them. And it sure didn't help that Castiel- their only functioning and capable angel- was heading straight into the lion's den. All these bastards had to do was tighten that collar, and they were toast.

And, that put the two of them sitting in the impala, trying to find the will to propel themselves into the danger, despite being collared and handcuffed in the backseat, or doubting their silver-tongued skills for the first time since childhood.

This was so risky.

They had followed Sam and Gabe to to the point that Cas informed them of as the surveillance's weak spot- just to make sure there was no extra security and they made it there okay. Gabriel could die tonight if they didn't do this right: he was damn near comatose and Sam nearly pissed himself with terror when the archangel started coughing, a thin line of blood dripping from his unresponsive lips. Getting to the guard's blind spot was more than crucial, and now that they made it safely, it was their turn. Dean breathed out heavily.

"Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"When we're in there I might have to say or do some stuff, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you, so please just... just remember I love you. Okay?" He met the luminous blue eyes in the darkness and saw Cas' lips pull up gently in a tight, scared smile.

"I know, Dean. I love you too."

All conversation stopped as they approached the gate. A big, gruff hunter with a shotgun under his arm stood at the entrance and Dean swallowed before he schooled his expression carefully and rolled down the window.

"'Evening-"

"What's the cargo?" he huffed, arms crossed and gun gripped tight, peering past Dean into the backseat.

"One angel...?" Did they call them that here, or did they have some kind of degrading nickname...?

"All choked up an' ready?" That sounded downright disgusting... What did that even mean? Collars?

"Yup." Just say yes.

The man nodded shortly at him, not giving Cas a second glance. "Pull in around the corner at the Loaders." _Loaders_? Dean just clenched his fists around the wheel, and and ignored the pull in his gut as much as possible.

Loaders. It was a makeshift loading dock, full of hunters with all manner of transportation were 'delivering' angels in all kinds of vessels, in various states of undress and consciousness. A lot of them were clearly beaten, some didn't even look alive.

Trying desperately to keep in character, dean opened the backseat and yanked Cas out by his arm. He tried not to grip too tightly, but made sure to give a discrete stroke of his fingers over the angel's bicep as he guided him through the line to enter. They were three groups away from entering the building when Dean got that dreadful feeling of falling and his heart pounded into his ears.

They were _checking_ the _collars_

He felt clammy sweat line his upper lip and cleared his throat nervously. Shit. Shitshitshit.

Rick stood at his post by the door. Dr. Harkness usually assigned him the collar-oriented task. After all, they _were_ his creation. At least, the science and schematics were his- the execution was simply barbaric in his opinion. Those poor creatures necks were torn to shreds by the barbs, and electro shock was simply cruel. More and more often, he felt like he should turn right around and hunt the humans.

Checking collars was a tedious, repetitive job, and there was rarely a collar unfastened. The 'cargo' didn't even stay here. They were properly collared and 'anatomically studied' before they got shipped off to _specialists_ or _experts_ all over the US for different purposes. There had been rumors of nasty things happening to the creatures: trafficking, mass extermination, and a sick underground market in prostitution and pornography. Pretty often, an angel could get sold back to the hunter that caught them- especially the female ones. No one knew for sure what happened to them...

"Oh, just one minute, Kid." He said as a young hunter tried to yank their angel through the line. Rick had never seen him before. New? "I just gotta check the collar-" he must be new, this was the strangest fastening job he'd ever seen "now, how'd you manage that?" he chuckled to himself. Trying to re-situate the collar, he was able to get a pretty good look at the angel.

He was a pretty one, with dark waves of hair and stubble on his cheeks. His big trenchcoat was a little worse for wear, and he looked almost like a tax accountant or something in his black suit. He looked scared, or maybe just angry, with a clenched jaw and blue eyes set firmly on the ground. Rick internally shuddered at the tight grip the hunter had on the angel's arm; that would bruise something awful. He tried not to think about what this man would probably do if the angel was sold back... He was in the perfect position to fasten the collar... but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"You're fine, move along." He was just a little slip of a thing, he deserved a fighting chance. After a moment, the hunter practically ripped the angel's arm off with the speed that he led him down the hall. The flapping of the trenchcoat reminded him of something earlier that day, but that was just a trick of the light... Right?

Dean couldn't believe it. He thought they were lost before they started with that one, and there was no way that guy didn't see Cas' screwy collar. So why did he let them go? They were following the steady stream of people and angels through a long hallway, and he felt Cas slow them down, falling closer to the back, away from the guards and masses at the end of the corridor. Dean followed his angel's lead as he led them through a door that he unlocked discretely with his grace, and opened up into a... Dean felt his eyes bug out at the large space.

This was the warehouse. The real warehouse, stacked and stacked with storage units with silver locks- Dean was willing to bet they were full of collared and tortured angels- and a heavily manned guards' station at the back of the huge room. Dean and Castiel ducked behind a massive locker unit just in time to sneak by. Dean didn't even let himself breathe in the shadow of the storage unit. Cas gently nudged his elbow, and jerked his head over to the doorway on the other side of the room. They make it... if they ran like Hell and didn't make a single sound. They couldn't just leave Sam and Gabe out there much longer- time to get a move on.

They sprinted.

"Hey Collins, 'you here that?"

"Here what?" the guard rolled his eyes at his dimwitted partner.

"I'm gonna check it out."

"The lab rats start actin' up, you gimme a shout." He hastily reassembled his gun from where he'd been fiddling with it to pass the time, and crept down the rows of untis.

Every sound became a threat to Sam. He jumped at the creak of the breeze through the branches and the leap of crickets out of the corner of his eye, pulling his shivering archangel closer with each one. Gabriel was so close to freedom. He wouldn't lose him now.

The door jutted into his back when it opened and he swung around, holding Gabe tighter still. Sam relaxed when he realized the threat was just Dean.

"Come on, Man. Cas can't shut down the alarm for too long, or we'll have two sick angels on our hands!" Sam picked up his freezing archangel in a bridal carry, and they carefully maneuvered their way into the building.

"HEY!" Sam felt his entire body rush into his throat as a deep, foreign voice echoed down the deserted hallway. "What the HELL do you think you're doin'?" the guy was big and built almost as big as Sam, and- just one of the many 'fuck yous' from the deities of luck- pointing a pistol at them with a steady hand. He didn't drop his weapon or take his eyes off of them as he muttered into his walkie talkie, clipped to his shoulder. "I've got a situation on ground, we have a breach in-"

"Show us some respect!"_ Dean, what the Hell are you doing_... The man paused though, not lowering the gun "We have been trusted by Dr. Harkness personally to escort these... _creatures_ up to his office at once!"

"And who exactly are you?" he didn't seem to be buying it... Sam jumped in, trying to help.

"His personal angel... catchers. We will be notifying your superior of this inconvenience-" He was a little off his game as Gabriel seemed to choose that moment to stop shivering and start hacking up a lung, wheezing in shallow breaths- this was not good!-

A pistol cocked. The guard looked malicious, poised for an attack.

"Dr. Harkness is currently out, and has been, due to a disturbance in the ranks in Montana... I'll ask one more time: what are you doin' here?"

Shit.

Gabriel stopped wheezing. No, he stopped breathing. No no no NO! Sam let his knees buckle as he lowered his love to the floor, pulling out his own gun, and raising it to the guard. He wasn't gonna die, he couldn't lose him now...

There was the slightest beginning of pressure on Sam's trigger finger when suddenly, the man seized up with tendrils of blue electricity sparking arounf him as he dropped to the ground. Just behind him was a shorter, middle aged man with a graying mustache and a tazer. Dean and Sam instantly cocked their guns- only for the man to tuck away his weapon and raise his arms in surrender.

"You look like you could use a little help there, kid." He said shakily, nodding a little in Gabriel's direction.

Sam didn't really know what else to do other than nod dumbly.


	9. Chapter 9

**MERP! Good luck with this one... **

** I own nothing.**

** Enjoy!**

Rick raised his hands in surrender, but it wasn't because of the gun- he was a hunter, guns didn't scare him. But, this boy looked wild. He kneeled behind the angel with shaking hands on the trigger and his eyes shining with tears. He probably couldn't even see from the water blurring his vision, he wouldn't hesitate to shoot first and ask questions later. "It's okay, Kid, I'm here to help. I- I'm on your side..." he approached the young man like a skittish animal, arms up and cautious steps. He didn't drop the gun until one of his friends placed a hand on his shoulder, startling him but also convincing him to trust Rick enough to let him kneel in front of him with the angel between them. He dropped the gun, but kept it close to his side.

The man that convinced him to let Rick closer was the hunter was the one from the loaders. And that was the angel he brought in- a breakout attempt? He hadn't seen the blonde angel before... not for a long time.

But he remembered him. They took his original schematics of the collars when he came in, said he was the most powerful thing they'd ever had to harness. Rick had never seen one of the 'harnesses' before, but he remembered that Dr. Harkness thought he was too powerful for the main headquarters, shipped him out to Carl Grayson, his old buddy from working at the university. This was actually probably a lot better than what happened to most of Carl's... pets. He practically invented the angelic prostitution idea, and the mention of his name made Rick shudder. He was revolting and perverted and he wasn't even ashamed to say that he was relieved when the man was killed.

The angel on the cement looked much different than when he'd been dragged in. He hadn't taken too well to being taken captive- not that any of the angels did, but most of them were too weak to fight it. This one was still enough of a fighter that they needed an elephant tranquilizer to take him down. His collars had never failed like that, and when he offered new, stronger designs for the strange new creature, they were turned away without a second glance. These were a mess- the most elaborate and torturous collars he'd ever seen. This wasn't what they were supposed to be for! They were supposed to prevent the angel from hurting the humans during interrogation and examination. But, now interrogation was torture and examination was dissection, and Rick felt guilt seat itself in every cranny of his being.

The young man was staring down at the angel, shaky breaths and teary eyes, desperately holding a hand over a chest that wasn't moving. The man himself was barely breathing-

_- her chest was still, and he could feel her ribs cracking under the strain of him trying and trying to resuscitate her. Tears blurred his vision til there was nothing but the blood, the smooth, unbearably hot, sticky blood that oozed out around his hands. Linda wasn't gone, she couldn't be! He needed her, Grace needed her- _

_ "DADDD!" _

The boy was muttering to the angel, resting his forehead against his and trembling like there was nowhere to go from here- and maybe there wasn't. Maybe he was like him.

"Calm down, kid. It's gonna be okay-"

"You don't know, you don't-"

"Take a deep breath. You can't help 'im when you're hyperventilating." He waited a moment, pressing his fingertips gently over the pulsepoint. It was there. Barely, but that was something to work with. "What's your name?" the young man was so focused on breathing, so focused on his angel that he was in a different world. Rick snapped his fingers in front of his big, sad eyes. "Hey. What's your name?"

"S-Sam." There we go.

"Okay. I can get these off him, but you have to trust me. Please put down the gun." he could see the gears and maddening hesitation in Sam's eyes. "I will not hurt him. I promise." The small glance between Sam and the other hunter wasn't lost on Rick, but he felt his heart lift a little when the handsome military- looking man gave a short, affirmative nod.

Wasting no time, Rick leaned down to whisper latin over the thin metal strip across the angel's throat

" Potentia pepercisti ex humano oculo, dimittere et vigent." the metal clanged to the ground and Rick cringed at the violent red gouges and bruising where the collar had been. Sam gasped like he had been drowning, though, and shed his jacket, balling it up and propping up the angel's head like that would stop the sluggish ooze of blood from the wounds. The barbs tore at these creatures, it was simply disgusting to him.

"What'd you say?" The military one said, gruff and business-like. He reminded Rick of old western movies that he watched as a kid, but restrained the amused little smile. He was about to spell it out when he remembered, and pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket.

"It's a little latin that frees the grace." he held out the paper to the man "I carry around the paper in case I forget the words." he reached out and took the paper suspiciously, like it was going to explode.

Sam stroked the angel's hair out of his face as he tried to clot the bleeding. It wasn't much, but he'd probably seen enough blood from this one.

The bottom one was probably the next best to break; the middle one was just so _huge_. It dominated the angel's entire torso, and dug viciously into his flesh. The strangest thing to him was that there were three. _Three_? What on Earth did he do to deserve_ that_?

"He didn't_ do_ anything, you people chained him and locked him up, tortured and_ violated_ him, and _he_ did something-?" Sam started, getting fired up and closing his fist around the gun, veins and muscles bulging and rippling under his thin t shirt. Rick raised his hands a little, lost for words- he never ever wanted to run into this kid in a dark alley, damn...

"He didn't it like that, Sam. You're just upset, let him help." The trenchcoated angel spoke for the first time, low, gravelly and tense. He turned to Rick with piercing blue eyes, hard and icy- he was sticking up for him. But not because he liked him. " He is one of the most powerful of our Father's servants." That wasn't really an answer, but the angel was distracted, looking down at the fallen friend like a brother.

"He's an archangel." the other man cleared up after an awkward stretch of silence.

"An- An archangel? Like Michael, or Lucifer and-"

"His name is Gabriel." It came out of Sam's mouth a little harsher than intended, still holding a bite of anger towards him, but it was quickly overcome with tears. "Can you save him?"

"Well, I can get the collars off, so I can try." He zeroed in on the next collar as he heard the muttered 'thank you'. Sam tenderly carded his fingers through the soft-looking golden hair, a pathetically sad and almost hopeful smile quirking his watery lips.

He whispered quietly over the archangel's tiny hips, making the metal drop to the cement beneath them. In a subconscious little gesture, his hand rested across a strip of new skin. He- Gabriel- was freezing! The new harness schematics must've been atrociously off, because the poor thing was freezing to death. He Looked up at the still-shaking young man- who was still staring at the angel like he could will life into him- and the two others knelt down at his side. The Cowboy rubbed a hand over Sam's shoulder in a gentle and affectionate move that Rick hadn't really expected.

"Sammy, it'll be okay, alright, we'll fix 'im up..."

"Don't lie, Dean. I'm not a kid anymore... he's practically already gone..." Sam's voice choked and broke across the sentence as he leaned down over Gabriel.

With renewed vigor, Rick laid his hands over the last slab of metal, and began to recite the incantation. But there was a sudden, almost imperceptible sound: the crackle of a walkie talkie. The guards were nearly here.

Dean heard the militaristic patter of boots across cement as it echoed down the hall and felt himself tense.

"Sam." he tapped his brother "you better hurry it up, man. The cavalry's comin'..." he felt his heart in his throat, because Sam was still trembling and crying and barely even breathing, he was just so terrified. Gabe could already be dead for all they knew, and this guy that they didn't know or trust was their only hope. The feet were getting closer, and he could also hear the sound of cocking guns and crackling walkies.

"Is there some empty room or something, cuz the SS ain't our biggest fans right now!?"

The older man stopped in his tracks: he could hear it too. He thought for a moment, looking wildly around at the different doors in the hallway.

"This one-" he pointed "it's the only one that's completely out of use" they ducked inside just in time.

"Man down. We have an intruder, I repeat, there is a breach in the left ground." There was the fizzle of the walkie talkie and the snapping of a gun magazine. There were four of them as Dean peered through the crack in the door, prowling like lions and he felt ice in his veins as one looked just a hair too long at their door.

The room they were in was much bigger than Dean expected. The smell of holy oil reached him even before he saw the drums of liquid stacked in the corner. There was a charred circle, and chains from the rafters and ceiling. The really odd thing, however, was the hospital suction cups and wires to a heart monitor. What the Hell?

"Dean-" Cas whispered into the darkness and Dean grabbed onto his hand.

"Find them-"

"They look long gone-"

"Then find out how they even gott'in! Harkness's gonna be pissed if any merchandise is tampered with or-"

Crash.

Dean's heart stopped and Cas slid close to him.

The third collar was off and time itself seemed to disappear as everything started to happen all at once.

It was so warm, almost too hot. Dean squinted into the golden light for a moment before it dawned on him; it was Gabriel's grace. The light pulsed and grew, etching golden wingprints across the inside of his eyelids as he closed them just in time. It burned so bright and powerful that all he could think to compare it to was a nuclear blast, and then began to fade, receding back into the archangel's body and- he'd looked so pale and gray before- he glowed with the golden light for what felt like a long while. He recognized the rising feeling in his chest; he felt it whenever he touched Cas, felt him, kissed him. He saw that light in his own angel, lying in bed and sprawled against each other, he had just never really realized it was his grace. Castiel's light was blue and white and shone like fluorescent lightning, it was beautiful. Gabriel's was sunshine and firelight. He could easily say he'd never been happier to be with the trickster. He squeezed Cas' hand.

They waited. And waited.

Why wasn't he waking up? Sam was looking down at him, cradling his freshly healed skin and looking so full of hope. The archangel was completely still. _Come on, wake up wake up!_ Sammy couldn't take it, not now. He'd just gotten him back, this was his first chance at love since Jess, and Dean wouldn't let his brother lose that again-

"FREEZE!" The door was flung open as guards spilled into the room like rats through the sewer, guns raised.

NO no no it wasn't fair! Dean grit his teeth and willed it with all he had. Wake up, wake up, you bastard! _You can help us, you could save us, and God knows you save Sam every damn day, and I __would say it to your face if you could hear me!Just live_! Dean never thought- in a million years- that he'd be rooting for the trickster to live, he'd tried to kill him himself so many times, but damn it, Sam loved him and that was enough! It had to be enough.

None of them knew what to do. The guy that had helped them moved first, slowly raising his hands, just like when he approached them, grabbing Sammy's gun as he raised them. He shh-ed them with his lips silently, and gave them a smile. What the Hell? The bastard was selling them out, Dean knew it. They couldn't trust this guy, he-

"RUN! HE'LL BE FINE, JUST GET OUT!" He screamed, running at the throng of men. Not allowing himself the shocked moment, Dean grabbed his gun and hauled Cas to the door. Sam had Gabriel in his arms and was on their heels.

They were being chased. The men behind them were cursing and angry, gaining on them so much Sam could almost feel them stepping on his heels. He tugged Gabe closer still, ignoring and dodging the flying bullets and just running faster. The impala was back at the front and in sight, Sam clung to the collar-free angel with all he had and kicked up faster.

"SAM!" Dean shouted in warning as he wrenched open the driver's door and started her up. There were more and more guards, coming from every exit door and toward them. Cas shoved open the backseat door and Sam practically dived in.

The car was burning rubber across the abandoned nighttime interstate- they had been followed to the Missouri stat line by a few caravans of gunmen and hunters. They didn't know what happened to the man that helped them- they didn't even know his name. But they sure were grateful now.

Gabriel was alive. No wingprints on the ground, all physical wounds healed with a surge of freed grace. It started off as a groan, and quickly dissolved into a full blown coughing fit.

"Guys!" Sam exclaimed, feeling like he could fly, a cathedral ceiling with open windows blowing through his chest "Gabriel?" He stroked the hair out of his eyes, looking down at the splayed out eyelashes just in time.

Those eyes were so beautiful. He was so beautiful, and Sam couldn't wipe the grin off his face as the curtains of lashes fluttered open ad dark hazel met honey gold. A warm, almost-smirk type smile graced those lips and Sam couldn't resist:

Cupping Gabriel's cheek and the back of his neck, the archangel met him halfway in a kiss that was so velvety smooth and amazing and vibrating with energy and future and family and love. Sam kissed and cradled the archangel in his lap as he squeezed his arms around his neck.

"Hi"

"Hey there, Kiddo"


	10. Chapter 10

** Hello folks! This is an epilogue; kinda-sorta and totally not. It's sequel time! The timeline is a little jumpy in this one, but its pretty simple if you think about it. Which, technically, makes it not-so-simple. Read it a couple times. The important thing is that this part is made of snip-its of the first week- week and a half of Gabe being back :)**

** Enjoy**

** I own nothing.**

They were back at Bobby's just as the sun was rising. Gabriel hadn't moved from Sam's arms for the entire car ride and Dean and Cas clutched at each others hands in the front seat. They had gotten Gabriel from the farmhouse almost two weeks prior, but he wasn't really back. Now til then.

The house was empty- Bobby left a message on Dean's phone about some hunt in Oregon with Rufus- and Gabriel took a long moment to just be _there_. He'd only ever been to Bobby's a few times, and they always served such a fast purpose that he didn't stay long. Not to mention, his relationship with the old hunter was about as rocky as his and Dean's, so it wasn't really like he was wanted when he'd been there. Once Sam forgave him, Dean and Bobby warmed up a bit, along with the new relationship of Cas and Dean. He felt a little bit closer then, just in time for it all to end.

It was strange to think about the fact he had actually died. He 'died' all the time- Dean, Bobby, and Sam had all committed the act at least once- but angels were almost never resurrected, and when you died, you really died. Angel grace became stardust in the atmosphere- at least, that's what he'd been told.

For the first time in his new life, Gabriel just closed his eyes and took a breath to just really be _there_. It felt different, almost like he'd been there much more recently- for longer than he ever had- and... he felt loved.

"Did the old man get new drapes or somethin'? It feels different..." he asked absently to the air.

"What? No..." Sam smirked and Gabriel expertly masked his flinch as the hunter put an arm around his waist from close behind him. _Flinch? Whoa, Gabe; little jumpy._ It wasn't exactly a threatening motion. It was gentle and sweet and slightly clumsy. It was purely Sammy, and he lov- _Calm down. He just kissed you in the car, cool the jets_! He did love him. Gabriel knew the second he saw him, but Sam didn't know that. The archangel literally took that to his grave, and he always regretted it, but that didn't mean 'say it at the next possible time!' But it also didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun... he grinned openly, closing his eyes and forcing himself to relax into Sam – he wasn't expecting it to be so hard to do- turning and looping his arms around the taller man's neck and kissing him with everything he had and more. Sam grinned against his lips and squeezed his waist as he pulled him up to his lips. He felt loved and at home and-

_You don't deserve him, you don't deserve any of this. You should've died and you know it..._

Guilty. Incredibly, cripplingly guilty. He wanted to kiss Sam- more than anything- and in the car it was perfect, but now there was a moment when he felt this sudden revulsion and the need to pull away. It was gone in an instant, but it seemed to dig itself a pit into his grace and seat itself deep in there. The permanence of the feeling terrified him but he kissed Sam deeper, willing the trembling away because he was _fine_, damnit. He forced the word to the front of his brain in neon lights and carefully tucked the bitter feeling into a shadow at the back of his mind, letting himself get lost when Sam simply held him close that night as he slept.

Gabriel rested his head over the taller man's chest, and tried to breathe evenly in the wake of his last nightmare._ Nightmares; that was all they were, no matter how real they seemed... you don't believe that_. Scrunching his eyes up until he saw stars, feeling Sam's grip on his back tighten in his sleep. He was fine. He had Sam.

_He's out of your league. He's better off without you. He belongs with a human: a beautiful, whole, pure member of his own species. You're nothing but another purebred bitch, and all you'll do is hurt him, you're damaged beyond repair._.. STOP IT! He took a deep breath of sandalwood and cinnamon and gun powder and _Sam_ as he pressed himself close to his heart.

_A pounding heart against his fingers and warm muscle stretching out under his palms. A soul reached out to him through the flesh and helped him returning him to the present... breathing steady... in out in out.._..

He barely remembered anything from his time as a comatose vegetable. He knew what had happened when Sam and the others found him in... wherever he was, and he remembered Sam telling him about how the apocalypse ended. But all those were remembered like he was seeing them through a film, or like they didn't really happen. All he knew now was that nothing ever felt as calming as Sammy's pulse and body heat under his cheek; but sometimes his clothes felt itchy and unnatural, or he just zoned out completely. It was like he stopped feeling anything at all for sudden periods of time. It happened mostly during the strange times that he'd feel... uncomfortable, or threatened. He knew he almost died, but the feeling of being on-guard never seemed to go away now. Wasn't he better?

He couldn't tell Sam, Sam couldn't handle this now. He'd already spent 12 agonizing days looking after his sorry ass; the kid could use a break. Dean and him still weren't on the best of terms. No matter how close he and Sam get, the hunter and him still had the elephant in the living room of 'I killed you a billion times over the course of a Tuesday time loop', and Gabe wasn't quite sure how much the older Winchester still hated him. Not confiding in him anytime soon. And then there's Cas. Cas was sweet, but- hard as he may try- he just didn't understand. He was still trying to work out how he felt what he felt for Dean. Gabriel couldn't imagine going to him for any type of advice. And, he knew that no matter what or who he said this stuff to, it would all end up back with Sam.

It was so strange. He didn't hide things from Sam- at least, he tried not to- and Sammy hated it when he- or anyone- did it. Sam didn't know about any of the confusion or dreams, but he wasn't stupid and Gabe knew that much: Sam was worried. He was more gentle and more careful around him, like he would break if he approached too fast or spoke too loud, and it would be infuriating if it wasn't true. He would fall apart, and the archangel could already feel the seams ripping as he tried desperately to hide the problems.

It started with these weird... feelings that he got in different parts of the house- especially the bedroom he shared with Sam- that gave him phantom aches and sharp pains or sudden memories of a fight or something that he didn't remember happening. He started jumping at small sounds and unexpected touches and made every excuse in the book to hide them. Then came the dreams.

They were more like hallucinations and flashbacks, but that just sounded too... violent and post traumatic and... he wasn't crazy! He was just... he was probably going crazy. The dreams happened at completely random and unpredictable times: in the middle of the day, he could look down and his wrists would be black and blue, or look in the mirror and he'd be naked and beaten with his wings mangled behind him and it was terrifying and made no sense and-

_ The pain was so overpowering that it seemed to stem from every part of his body and he couldn't focus his gaze on anything as he opened his eyes to the hard metal ceiling. Hesitantly, lifting his throbbing head, he looked around. _

_ It was all a blur of black darkness, ashen skin, and the rust of dried blood. At least forty angels- emaciated, caustic burns painting their skin, and wings out and pulled tenderly to their backs or hanging at agonizing angles- were sitting, standing, or even lying down in the dank room. Some didn't even look alive. Gabriel moved to stand in the spinning room with his hands steadily holding him up against the tin wall of the tiny barrack. He became intensely aware of his own wings, mangled and limp against his back. The tips were charred to black and every move he made suddenly caused so much pain that he could barely keep himself standing. Then the door crashed and rattled open. There was a young woman with red dotted white wings and shaking bones was shoved carelessly into the space, a guard about to shut the door behind her._

_ "Please, PLEASE... take me, take m-me, she's a fledgling- she's just... she's my baby, please, she-" the words were shrill and trembling and they ached somewhere deep inside Gabriel. _

_ "-is none of your concern... filthy bird..." the human kicked her to the ground and spit at her as she collapsed into body-wracking sobs, holding her stomach and seeming not to feel the way her wing was now precariously bent against the floor. The door closed and plunged them all into a darkness only broken by the mother's harsh cries..._

_ Her baby... they took her baby..._.

He woke with a start.

Sweat drenched through the t shirt he wore- Sam's- and he could feel his entire body shaking. With tentative eyes, he looked down at his wrists to check them. What was wrong with him?

"Gabe?" Sam muttered sleepily, big hand reaching up to find him in the dark. He didn't mean to shudder, but Sammy was just too damn perceptive sometimes. "Gabriel, what's wrong?" _He'd just think you were weak. A nightmare? Really_? A part of him really did know that Sam would try to help- would understand better than anyone else- but his pride just... wouldn't let him say the words? Was that pride or shame?

" 'M fine, Sammy. It's okay..." he said it for his benefit more than Sam's. Was it fear? He was seriously starting to doubt that he wanted to know what happened to him... Whenever he caught his hunter looking at him funny- worried, concerned, or even scared- he could tell it was something terrible, and if it had enough juice to nearly take _him _down?

They were gonna need a bigger boat.


End file.
